In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
