You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
