I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Rumble strips road head = magical
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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