So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
How does it feel to date your dad?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
