I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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