Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
