Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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