she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
