I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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