i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
