You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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