i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
