The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
