all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
