Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
