I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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