forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize