I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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