What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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