what day is it and did you see me today?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
