I should be sponsored by Trojan
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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