can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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