problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
