I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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