I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
