is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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