even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
