when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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