I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
