How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
