wanna go halves on a baby?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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