so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
