Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
