I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
