If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
