Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
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