THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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