But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Sext me about skeletons
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
