yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
