you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I puked a lego.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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