I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
