Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
not ubering you a puppy
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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