He kissed a someone with a penis
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
She's the barista slut.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
