I think im going to throw up on grandma
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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