so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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