I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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