I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
