I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
