dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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