wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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